How To Deal With Pain When It’s Not Yours

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

This past summer has been one of the most difficult in my life. While I never believed that bad things would evade me, I did think naively think that getting older was going to make things easier; not harder.

The thing is though, the pain that’s plagued my life for the last few months isn’t even my cross to bear. It’s not things that are happening directly to me more so as happening to the ones I love. As a fiercely loyal friend and family-oriented person, on top of being an empath, I feel my friends and family’s pain to the extreme.

But that’s not fair to take other people’s pain and make it my own. It’s not fair to act like these unfair things are happening to me when they are actually happening to those I love.

So what do you do when everyone around you is going through something arduous?

You listen. You really listen to them when they talk and don’t try to give them advice. They don’t need advice. They don’t need someone to tell them what to do. Listening has shown me that I can help the people I love by just letting them talk without trying to fix everything.

You are there for them. You show up. If you can’t be there physically, you’re there mentally and emotionally. You are a quick phone call away and they know that you’re going to answer. No matter what time. No…