It’s OK To Not Be Happy

I have been battling with the ‘be happy’ mentality for quite some time. What I mean by this is that when you’re unhappy and going through shit that somehow you need to convince yourself to just be happy and everything will be OK. But that’s just not real life.

Struggling with a purpose in life often times leads people to question who they are. I am definitely in the full fledge middle of feeling this way. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. I used to know or at least I thought I did. Then I got broken up with, got a job that wasn’t fulfilling, gained a bit of weight (a symptom of the unhappiness) and just started to feel as though every single thing in my life is out of control.

The truth is that it is out of my control. Life has its own agenda and it’s probably not one that lines up with my own. The problem is that in these times of flux, I start to lose the person I am and start being the person I think I should be. I’m the person who projects this happy persona online as well as to my family and friends. When I try to tell people the things I’m going through or deviate from the merry person I usually am, people get freaked out. Which then in turn makes me pretend more that everything is OK when it’s not.

I don’t like to burden people with my problems. I don’t like people to think that things aren’t perfect because then they’re going to…