It starts as two people getting ready to go out for the night.
Both heartbroken. Both ready to feel something different; something new.
They’re in no way connected but currently, they’re experiencing the same feelings; pure pain. While she made her makeup perfect, he shaves so he had just the right amount of stubble. She picks out a dress she knew would catch someone’s eye with, and he put on just the right amount of cologne. Before they left their individual apartments, they look at themselves in the mirror. They both whisper ‘you can do this’ then slide out their respective doors. They both set the intention in their minds that tonight they would not be going home alone.
She’s sitting with her friends in the corner, pretending to be listening to one of her girlfriends while she scans the crowd. He’s standing at the bar with his friends, laughing about something while downing shots one after the other. He couldn’t say it to the group but he’s hurting. Bad.
Somehow they end up meeting. He grabs her hand and knew that he had found the girl he wants to get to know tonight. She looks at him and smiles. He’s completely opposite of the boy that just broke her heart and she needs to forget him. They talk. They drink. They laugh. They dance.
Neither of them knows who suggests leaving first, but after saying bye to their friends, they end up in the back of a cab heading to her place. Her palms are sweaty as she leans into him. He swallows hard trying to push the thoughts of the girl who just left him out of his mind. When they get to her apartment, she pours them a drink. It took one minute before he sets down his glass and presses his lips against hers.
They make it to her bedroom and feverishly pulls off their clothes. She bites his neck and he says his ex’s name. She chalks it up to a mistake. As she runs her fingertips across his jawline, she’s picturing the face of the boy who broke her. She shakes her head to get him out of her mind but she can’t. He runs his hands down her back, trying to not say his ex’s name again. The truth is he’s picturing her on top of him.
They both want to drown in each other’s skin. While their bodies are totally in sync, their minds are in completely different places. They’re both remembering the pain and heartbreak they’ve just experienced. They’re both wondering if maybe this isn’t the right way to try and heal.
It isn’t because of this unknown person they’re with now. They both just aren’t ready. They’re trying to heal broken pieces together because it’s easier than doing it alone. While they’re making out, both of their brains are feeling guilty. They’re feeling as if they’re using each other because they are. They’re trying to temporarily escape the pain that is plaguing both of their hearts.
When they finish, they lay together for a few minutes. They’re both unsure how to proceed from here. Yes, they’ve just shared one of the most intimate experiences that two humans can have but they had no idea what to say to each other.
They know that when you take someone home you’re obviously not going to be alone. But as they both lay in her bed in the tangled sheets, they’ve never felt more alone. Even though there’s nothing wrong with the stranger beside them, they just aren’t ready.
He gives her a hug at the door. She smiles and tells him to have a good night. They exchanged numbers knowing that neither of them will ever use them. Maybe it didn’t work out the way either of them had planned, but they are grateful for each other. It gave them hope that when they are ready, that wonderful people do exist.
So they’ve learned that they need to heal and maybe that’s all they really need to know. There’s no wrong way to rebuild yourself after a breakup and tonight they found out how to hope again.