When I Realize That We’re In The Same City Again

Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash

My mind won’t stop. It’s reminding me that we’re in the same city again and all I want to do is be near you. I don’t just want to breathe the same air as you, I want to be so close that all I can breathe is you.

Because this last year hasn’t felt right without you. While we’ve both been two different people, I know that all I want to do is be wrapped up in you again. Even though that’s going to end in disaster, it’s the only thing I can think will be able to break this constant battle of loneliness. When I was with you, that’s the last time I felt relief from the isolation that night brings.

Someone should stop me before I pick up the phone and dial those numbers. There have been people since you but they’re not the same. They’re not the ones who have provided me with the intense and often hated honesty that you gave me. They’re not the one who for some reason, can pull me in by one quick touch of the hand. It’s a chemical reaction I can’t control when you’re close.

Then, my mind reminds me of the pain you caused me. The pain that was so real that it made me pack all my shit and leave. It made me run to the other side of the world where I faltered even more. I thought getting away from all the memories we had and the places we went would make it easier but it didn’t. It didn’t make anything better because I…