Remember Whiskey Wednesdays? When we’d stay up too late for a work night, drinking alcohol we could barely swallow in an attempt to look cool? Even though it was just us at your place.
The truth is that whiskey goes down smoother but it doesn’t have the same kick it did without you there. We were those people that used to really love being around each other. And our friends were jealous of not only our relationship but the fact that we were best friends. We used to be those two people who’d get a little tipsy and the smiles we’d give each other were exclusively for us.
Except I don’t think through my whiskey goggles I could see there was a turning point. I don’t think I noticed that your smile changed and suddenly it wasn’t as broad as it used to be. I don’t think I noticed that slowly Whiskey Wednesdays became more just me alone, wondering where you were. It was me calling you, trying to survive another lonely night where you didn’t come home.
I don’t know when it changed and the only question that remains is why? Why did it turn out this way when neither of us is different? Why did you stop looking at me as your best friend and soulmate and start feeling trapped? Why did my encouragement to pursue your dreams turn into a standard you felt you could never achieve?
Whiskey doesn’t taste the same without you. Sure the burn is still there and I still like mine on the rocks. I pretend to this day that I’m drinking it for the taste and not to look cool. But the sweetness that lingered after each sip that was followed by a kiss is gone. No one else has been able to make whiskey taste that good.
What’s worse is that you’re not there the next day to help me get through the hangover. You’re not there to remind me that when I get off work on Thursday, that we’re going to sit on the couch and laugh about the things we said the night before. The hangover just drags longer and the headache doesn’t even begin to match the heartache.
The only good thing about drinking whiskey now is that if I drink enough of it, your memory doesn’t sting as much. You’re the reason I need to quit drinking and are also the reason I can’t.
So I’ll order another round and hope that one day the whiskey burn and your memory will fade.